Children

When are children ever a good idea? Or not annoying? Or not worrying?

From pregnancy you are automatically limited. Some may call the small growth a handbrake. You can't eat this, you can't drink that, you shouldn't do this and you definitely shouldn't be acting like that. What a downer.

From it's birth up until at least 12 months, I'm presently pretty determined to not touch the small bundle of wrinkles and pinkness. I shake way to much and the possibility of me dropping the baby is therefore higher than anyone else. So not only am I horribly scared of dropping the baby, I'm sure we all acquainted with the saying "Never shake a baby". Unfair! I'm already at a disadvantage.

And from the word go, to at least the age of 3, it appears (to the untrained eye) that they just cry at whim. And it's so noisy. And they don't just.. be quiet.

Then they learn to walk and run. And they just go and 'do stuff'. They run under tables, they hid under things, they go this way and that way, they go places that they aren't meant to go to. Like out of the parents reach, beyond their ability to quickly reel them back into restraint. And they do all of this while being noisy and loud.

If I have kids they will be super quiet. Silent even.

And then they reach about the age of 7 and they start to grow. And they grow ugly. And they start to develop attitudes, and realise whether they are cool or whether they need to be friends with the cool ones. The mean streak develops.

Then they hit puberty. God, they are so boring during puberty. And lame. And moody. And giggly. And angry. And lazy. And unproductive. And still unattractive. And yeah, boring.

Then they come out of puberty, hit a good age. One would be naive enough to suggest that they may have developed somewhat of a decent personality. But, as a parent still apt enough to cause further inconveniences.

I'm all for piercings and tattoos, indulging, drinking, travelling, holidays and fun times. But I still think I'm rather conservative. God forbid having kids that are way out there.

And all of what I've just said is without even mentioning the trouble that friends and boyfriends or girlfriends can add to the situation.

I think teaching is turning me into a cynic.