The Death Star Cafeteria

Mentioning the 'Kwonny Death Stare' in my last post reminded me of 'The Death Star Cafeteria' video clip.

I LOVE this video. I have watched it at least 60 odd times. I think it is pure gold. And so it is time to share the wealth.

Thank you heaps BSP for sending it through. Enjoy.

'Many Boyfriends'

There is a little something I need to clear up in regards to my last post. That being the comment, 'many boyfriends'.

Dare I remind you of whose blog you are reading. Mine. Kiri Haggart.

I have since been sent many emails enquiring into this 'many boyfriends' comment. And as my brother said it, 'What? Have you finally managed to pull a bloke Kiri?'. Or as Becky put it, ' Are you pashing up a storm?'.

No I haven't Matt. And No I am not Becky.

The comment made is in some sense, described below:

Kwonny: You have many boyfriends.
Me: Boyfriends? Um no, I don't even have one boyfriend?!
Kwonny: You have many boyfriends at your house. I pay for you. Not for your boyfriends.
Me: I don't have a boyfriend Ms. Kwon. I don't know what you are talking about.
Kwonny: I pay for you. Only you. No one else.
Me: Ms. Kwon, I am the only one living there. No one lives with me. And I don't have a boyfriend.
Kwonny: You have many boyfriends. Yes?
Me: No. I have friends who are boys. And they visit me WITH their girlfriends. But I do not have a boyfriend.
Kwonny: You have many boyfriends. And you drink much beer. And wine. No. You are a teacher. You must set a good example. Are you a teacher?
Me: Monday to Friday I am a teacher. (note: that answer did not sit well) But in the weekend I am not.
Kwonny: You have many boyfriends. You must not have people at your house. If you want to meet friends, you must not do at your house. You must have meeting elsewhere. No people at your house, I pay only for you.

In another fight that followed, she again asked if I was a teacher. This time I replied with, "Well, no, I'm not a teacher. I am simply a University Graduate whose first language is English. I am only a teacher here in Korea."

Oh the death stare I received. To which I gave straight back.

Welcome to my world. My teaching world. It exists only here in Korea, Monday to Friday.

Happy Easter, Happy Touch and Happy Travels

I'm not sure how it has happened but I've found myself at home, and running a little ahead of time. What better way to make me late than write a post? And what better way to make my shakes worse than make yet another coffee.

And yeah... I think my shakes have over all, got worse here in Korea. I really am 'Wiri'. (wiriwiri meaning 'shaky' in Maori)

Anyway, It is Easter weekend however, much like Christmas it does not feature at all over here. I wouldn't have even known it was that time already if it was not for all you dudes in the UK raving on about your awesome holiday destinations you got planned. Meh, I hope you all have a fantastic time skiing in France, or sightseeing in Portugal. Whatever.

Speaking of holidays and destinations... ahahaha... I'm sure most are aware that we had a touch tournament last weekend. My team, Seoul Sisters, is the only all girls team in the league but still play against the guys teams. Last year, every game, we got thrashed. It wasn't much fun. This year our team is SO much better. At the tournament we managed to score every game, win games and even make Plate Play Offs. Which we did lose, but a close game to our defence. But to be the only girls team playing against the boys, we are definitely managing to hold our own. It's great.

The good news from this tournament is that I was selected for a mixed team to represent South Korea to play in Hong Kong at the end of April. So I'm going to Hong Kong baby yeya.

The weekend after that tournament I fly to Laos to meet up with two of my best of the bestest friends, Harriet and Sam. Which also includes my birthday which I am super stoked about. And I simply cannot wait to see those two kids. It's going to be awesome.

When I arrive back in South Korea I will only have around 6 weeks left on my contract. Thank fuck. Pardon my language, but seriously my principal is so psycho, insulting, rude and Korean, she manages to reduce me to full on body shakes and tears of frustration. She has been incredibly close to several punches in the face. Her claims of my kiwi accent being 'an embarrassment to the school and her', her comments about my 'many boyfriends' 'much beer and wine drinking' and resulting banning me from having any friends at my flat, and banning me from talking to any of the teachers at school, requesting that I only communicate with them via written form, is beginning to push me over the edge.

I know for sure, I will NOT be signing another contract with CLS. What I am going to do I am not sure. I'm fairly confident I will stick around in Korea but with what work, and for how long, who knows. I say this now, fully knowing that with Mum and Dad visiting in a month or so, then seeing Spy and Sam, they will all be making various attempts to have me leave the ROK. And seeing them will definitely make it harder to stick around. I miss my friends, and family, a lot. Heaps. Seeing people from 'outside' Korea is definitely going to get my mind wandering even more so as to where else, and who else. As if it doesn't wander enough already.

It's the usual story with me and where the next destination is. The ideas are flowing, but the cash is not.

Happy Easter everyone. Safe travels and be safe.

Soho

Soho, My local pub. Its amazing. The owner - Mr Lee. He's awesome. He has great taste in music. Let me attempt to paint some sort of a picture as to what Soho is.

Soho... you walk up a very narrow stairwell, by following the smallest neon light displaying its name, one even wonders as to what would draw you up that stairwell. But as you reach the door, and push on through, you are greeted with a bar that has a floor to ceiling bookshelf of vinyl records.

The place is tiny. In fact it only has three tables. Two which seat 4 people, the other - only 3 people, and the bar holds 4 bar stools. Yes, a total seating capacity of 11, perhaps 13 people should my memory be wrong.

The tables are positioned over three large windows that look down on the main street in front of Sookmyung Womens University. In a nutshell, it's great people watching and staring facilities.

Mr Lee is fantastic. He's got decent English to the point where he can hold basic conversations with me. He's welcoming, has always remembered my name, and has always shouted me a drink here and there. Or in the case of tonight, about five.

But tonight, wow. I love Soho.

When Rachel left, we started her farewell at Soho. And although we have a limited group of friends... numbering that night around 12 (yes, capacity full), I think it was possibly Mr Lee's busiest night. He was so sweet. He panicked, got a spare keg, moved the tables around, and also got confused thinking that both of us were leaving. This was around 3 weeks ago.

Tonight was the first night I went back. I walked in, did the 'yogiyo' call because he didn't see me, and then sat down at the bar. He turned around, gasped, panicked, freaked out... and eventually shook my hand. Followed by the usual comment... 'Where is Rachel?". I explained she left etc. But my god, I think I gave him the fright of his life, yet, made his night. Hopefully.

He then preceded to play all of my favorite songs. Time - Pink Floyd, Four Strong Winds - Neil Young, Stir it up - Bob Marley, Angie - Rolling Stones. Each song I gave a 'Yeya' too. He then pulled a long list of his fridge.... "I have always kept a list of the songs that you and Rachel always requested." Ohhhh, it was a sweet, sweet moment.

We started talking, and eventually we ended up doing a Korean lesson. Which lasted over at least 6 beers and a couple of hours, and numerous pages of notes. I think my local pub, that entails an awesome owner, with exceptional taste in music and cheap, occasionally free beer - just turned into my Korean exchange language partner. And hell, what a situation. Korean lessons for free, cheap beer (free every now and then) and amazing music. Life is good, oh life is good.

I do love Soho. Both Rach and I always have. And honestly - for those that know me, how much does it sound like 'me'? Could I have a better local? Seriously. I have managed to introduce it to my closest crew over here, but there are definitely a few other people that I know here that I reckon would love it. And I do aim to get them there for sure.

But in regards to my free Korean lessons tonight:

Na neum Soho reul jo a haeyo.
(subject to Korean translation to written English)

Soho rocks. So does Rachel. This post is definitely dedicated to you Rach.
Miss you. And love you.

P.S I'm definitely a little tipsy writing this. oops.

Saturday Morning Sports and Summertime. Oh how grand is life.

Seriously, how grand does life seem when you realise that you really have escaped the claws of winter, and you can feel summer slowly shining its way back into your world.

It's pretty damn grand.

Especially after being in the clutches of the coldest winter you have ever experienced. Daily temperatures of -8 degrees. Experiencing -18 degrees with a wind chill factor added to that. I mean honestly, it's a little ridiculous and I didn't really need to learn that New Zealand is incredibly mild.

And yes, I have since learnt that places such as Canada get even colder (around -30 perhaps?), but just let me have my moan.

However, as Boarding was the Light of Winter, Sunshine and Warmth are the Light of Summer. And oh how I missed them!

The sunshine has arrived, with clear skies, weak warmth, (but warmth none-the-less) and double figured temperatures. Yes people, not only are we consistently making positive temperatures, we have made 11 degrees. Oh its time to celebrate.

And celebrate we have. Touch has began. Last weekend was the first practice/run around for the season. I was up at 8.30am, out of the house and strolling the streets of the Land of the Morning Calm in the beautiful sunshine. I played amongst some brown grass, bare trees, but I was wearing shorts and a short sleeve thermal. And I was hot. In temperature. By no means attractive as someone kindly pointed out last weekend. Hmmm, thanks Tom and Fiona.

Everyone who was down there was in good spirits, commenting on the weather and the turn out. I replied with "Saturday Morning Sports people, you simply can't beat it" and did a little jig. This was met with a few nervous smiles and small giggles. It was about then I missed Carla.. normally I kept the weird side of me hidden and only expose it too a select few. Slight slip up on my behalf. But I again caught myself about 30 minutes later.

I did a dive - of which resulted in a try might I add - but as I was running, or perhaps walking, back to the half way mark I noticed I had mud on my legs and clothes. To which I exclaimed, "Oh my god, Sunshine, Saturday Morning Sports and mud on my clothes. Yeya!". Followed by another small jig. "All I need now is a sporting injury". Perhaps you can sense my excitement at Touch and Sports and the arrival of summer. And my need to shut up sometimes.

I am sure living in the smelly, concrete jungle that is Seoul is what has influenced my incredible need to be in open space. Preferably grassy and green, with trees and birds, and with some attempt of serenity. Touch definitely helps. But also the crews energy and activeness also.

Saturday Sports Day are a large part of summer here, and last week we held our first one for the year. At Yongsan Family Park, the crew arrived to watch the Touch practice to then follow on with Frisbee games and beer. It was awesome. Fiona was even in bare feet.

Anyway, summer time has arrived. With sports and promises of outdoor adventures, festivals and holidays. Bring on Doek Joek Do, DJ Festival, Flow Festival and Mud Festival. Bring it all on.

It's my turn in the sun. Bring on summer.

Ode to my Sheep Class

"We are Sheep Class!
We are awesome!
We are strong!
We aren't babies,
We don't cry.
We are Sheep Class!
We are awesome."

That's right, Sheep Class. So far to date, in my limited teaching career - the BEST class I have ever had to teach. They absolutely rocked and thankfully have influenced my minor turn around in my attitude towards teaching. Unfortunately, with the arrival of the new semester, and the end of winter, it means I no longer have the joy of teaching these little kidlets anymore. Boo.

And so, here is my Ode to my Sheep Class.

Okay, well, actually, there is nothing lyrical, therefore Ode-like, about this post, but here is my 'Big Ups' to my fave little kidlets.

A couple of the kids I ended up teaching for around 5 or 6 months perhaps. When they first arrived they had minimal english. They could say 'Hello', would perhaps understand 'How are you?' or 'What is your name?', but generally knew nothing. This often could result in some frustrating moments as you refuse to let them leave the room, thinking they are just being little shites, when actually they are screaming at you "Hwajangshil!" which I have since learnt, means 'toilet'. It was a little touch and go sometimes.

However, I finally managed to get their English to a stage where we could hold basic conversations. And conduct a whole lesson with no Korean spoken. Sounds like a minor thing, but to remember how little these kids knew, and now what they understand, is amazing. And god it made teaching fun.

With their improvement in English, came the opportunity for their humor to shine. And boy did they shine. And oh the games we played. And oh the laughs we had. And good god, the stupid things I taught them.

The chant up written above was what I taught them in hope it would stop the younger ones from crying and throwing hissy fits. I used to make them chant it, with actions, probably around 4 times a day. And they got shockingly into it. With the introduction of this chant though, I came to realise that they couldn't really pronounce 'Sheep' properly. They for some reason would always miss the pronunciation of the 'p' at the end. And resultingly would say/scream: "We are She Class!" The unfortunate part of this is that 'she' means 'pee' in Korean. Opps. I am no longer allowed to call my current class 'Sheep Class'.

Other mindless things I taught them, and loved listening to them shout back at me, are:

Me: Who rocks the party that rocks the party?
Children: We rock the party that rocks the party!
This provided me with endless entertainment. As I would indicate the beat of the chant with my hands, which they depicted as dance moves. This meant that the class all ended up doing what looked like black-homie-rap-type dance moves. It was hilarious to watch when they all got into it.

And for you Aussies out there:
Teacher: Look at moiiiee. Look at moie.
In true Cath and Kim accents. And Yes, the kids eventually started doing this back to me when I had my back to them doing something and ignoring their 'Teacherrr. Teacheerrrr!' yells. It sure as hell got my attention. And I sure as hell did turn around and look at them after that.

Also, the classic chant - Ozzy, Ozzy, Ozzy. Oi, Oi, Oi!

I know its not really English but in Korean they yell, 'Yah', and I would always yell 'Oi' at them. And for some strange reason a couple of them would always yell back 'cucumber' and then bend over in the giggles. Little did I realise that 'Oi' is infact cucumber in Korean. When I realised this I also laughed, and came to appreciate the little jokes they were making at my expense.

One of my favorite kids is Lance. I have been teaching him for around 6 months now and he is awesome. I love him, he's so funny. And he has the best laugh. He opens his whole mouth up, throws his head back and totally loses it. And when he's really cracking up, he throws in the knee slap for good effect. Or table slap should he be sitting down. And he's super ticklish, and as soon as you even begin to tickle him, he throws himself, stomuch first, down on the floor and just screams with laughter. Its hilarious and so much fun. But one day when I was watching a DVD with the kids, he came and crawled onto my lap. I patted him on his head and said "Oh hello my Little One" he turned around, hugged me, and replied with "Hello my Big One". It was sooo cute. And I'm scared as to how happy that made me. Does make me.

Here is a picture of me and My Little One, Lance.

My other favorite kidlet is Jennifer. Who is incidently, Lance's best friend. Might I add, god they can fight. But Jennifer, although a little stroppy, is hilarious. And bascially treats me as a Jungle Gym. At any given moment, she will jump on my back, sit on my knee, climb on my shoulders, climb into my lap, hang off my arms or just wrap herself around my waist. Her favorite thing to do is instead of calling me "Teacher Kiri", is too come up with different names for me. For example, "Teacher Monkey, hahahaha" or "Teacher Elephant, hahahaha". Lately, I have just started to finish teaching at 5.30 but stay at school until 6.30, and she does also as she waits for her brother. Jennifer has now turned into quite the little teacher, and as I potter about doing whatever Teachers are meant to be doing, she follows me around with a set of flashcards asking in a twisted kiwi/korean accent "What is it?" "What color is it?" and with each correct answer, I get the flashcard to keep. And boy, does she lose it when I get it wrong. But again, just an indication of how much she has learnt. Its great.

Here is a picture of Me and Teacher Jennifer. (wish you could see her awesome Winnie the Pooh slippers)But, yes unfortunately, a new semester has started and I choose to give my little kidlets up in order to teach the babies. Yeah, 3 year olds. Its a little different. But I think I will always look back on Sheep Class and realise that some joy does come out of teaching. These kids rocked. Totally rocked. I still get to hang out with them at school. And as stupid as it sounds, it brings me sooo much joy listening to them ask every morning when they arrive "Teacher Kiri! Sheep Class? Me, Sheep Class?" To which I reply, "Sorry guys, you've grown up and gone to a big class now". Their response, "Oh, noooo." And they point to me and say "Me, in Teacher Kiri's class."

And I'm grateful I had such a good class. After hating teaching for 6 months, it was super-duper rewarding to finally get to that stage where the kids have improved so much, that it makes teaching that much easier. And more fun for all.

Here are a few more photos of our various activities at school.

Getting ready for Duck, Duck, Goose.

Jennifers Birthday.

And FYI - Birthdays aren't celebrated over here, everyone turns one year older at New Years. Little Jennifer didn't even know it was her birthday. How sad huh.
Taking the kids down the Chocolate and Cookie aisle at the supermarket. It was a little stressful.

"One, Two, Three - Strike a pose"

Another random thing I taught them for a laugh.

I Love Sheep Class. They feckin rock.

Bets! Place your bets now!

"A blog?" I hear you question.

Yes. A blog.

Perhaps a fleeting attempt at a new hobbie. Likely, this will be something I will set upon with optimism, for it only to turn into some sort of a measurement as to how useless and lazy I am.

First example - my guitar - Continuing high hopes still exist that I will learn new songs, and turn into a quiet, little muso of sorts. But in reality, it sits in the corner as a measuring device of just how dusty my apartment is. And an indicator that a clean is always required.

This could turn into my second example - as I realise there is a high possibility for this blog to only turn into a measuring device as to how bad my English is getting. Teaching English I may be, but there is no doubt in my mind that my conversational english is getting shockingly bad. A result from talking broken English all day and everyday for 8 months. Perhaps this will be the indicator of my decreasing level of written english. Becky - by all means point out all my errors.

I am unsure what hopes I have for this blog, and I can definitely hear those with little faith in my commitment, questioning how long this is actually going to last.

And so, by all means people, place your bets now. How long do you think this will really last?

I should probably add now that I also am one of those people with little faith. I am definitely questioning my ability to keep this thing up to date. Not to mention interesting, enjoyable, funny, witty and worthwhile to read.

At the least people, lets just admire my gumption right now. It doesn't happen often.

I also know some people are wondering why the hell I've decided to start this thing. I've been in South Korea for 8 months now, and did all my blog-worthy travelling last year. But since being here I have met a few people who keep blogs and I love reading them. Hopefully someone out there will enjoy mine also?? In particular my family... okay, well Mum and Dad. Not so much Chanel and Matt I'm sure. And my close friends. So in reality, I'm actually kind of viewing this as a mass email type thing that will hopefully provide somewhat more of an insight to where I am, what I am doing, what I am seeing and who I am doing all of this with. More random events and activities than what I would usually email you all about.

Additionally, with the recent departure of Miss Rachel Kimber from Seoul, I have come to realise that suddenly I'm over here with no one I previously knew from home. If that makes sense. So I feel even more obliged to spit something out for everyone to read. Not that Rach would have ever offered any updates, news or happenings. No offence Rach.

Besides, beyond Seoul, there will be more travelling. There will be more missions. There will be more happenings for me to continually write about.

So I guess I did just give some indication of my hopes for "The Random World that is Kiri". It is a little weird, a little odd - but it's fun in my world. By all means come join me. It is for the faint hearted, I'm too lazy for it to be anything else.

However, welcome all. I hope you enjoy.

Oh, and I also apologise for all spelling mistakes now.